Beauty pageants seem to be a thing here in Gibraltar and what is wrong with that I hear you say? Nothing if it’s your chosen form of hobby or entertainment, because let’s be clear here, this is not culture, it is a contest where people are judged on their looks pure and simple, you’ve either got ‘the look’ or you haven’t. Sure, there are prizes for personality, friendship and best interview etc. but the top prize goes to the best looking person, the one that does it for the panel of appointed judges which is usually made up of former contest winners and others who partake in this particular pastime.
With all this in mind I decided to treat myself to some pure, unadulterated Saturday night ‘fun’ so attended the Mr Gibraltar 2016 contest at the Alameda Open Air Theatre. I went there with an open mind and forced myself to be objective, after all, whenever I criticise the female version for being a sexist tool for ogling men still stuck in the ‘70s I am gunned down by people telling me it’s not that at all...
Well, as far as shows go, this one was very well choreographed and the sound technician was excellent, the music was flawless throughout and provided a ‘pumped’ atmosphere perfect for a display of the male physique. Because that is what this was, a celebration of man in all his maleness: man in casual clothes, man with a bag, man in a snappy suit, man in a black wife-beater wearing mirrored aviators, man in the skimpiest, tightest leave-nothing-to-the-imagination Armani underpants. This was when the crowd (made up mainly of women) started to shriek and wolf-whistle and shout out ‘guapo’ at the top of their voices.
Helped by the backdrop of trees the ten contestants all looked like Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle (loin-cloths would have been more appropriate no?) You’ve got to hand it to the guys, they were so brave parading themselves about like that and they all seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely. As was I! I am loathe to admit that I spent the entire time discussing the finer details of these toned and tanned blokes with the women who were sitting next to me. ‘Oh he knows how to walk well’, ‘He’s got the best bum’ ‘His shoulders are amazing’...things like that. This show brought out the sexist, red-blooded-female in me and I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable with that. It does kind of prove my point about what people really think about when they see these shows, and if I was titillated by it all then the men that watch the female versions must be having the exact same thoughts.
Beauty pageants are here whether we like them or not and a male version at least goes some way to counter-balance the all-female shows we are used to. I just wish they did not form so much of our ‘cultural’ calendar and take up front-pages of newspapers. If Miss Gibraltar is the so-called ‘Social Event of the Year’ then surely Mr Gibraltar should be equally up there as far as Government funding and media exposure goes. #Equality
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